Tired of Raising Your Children For You.

What is it with children now days? I'm not a parent but I don't believe that disqualifies me from speaking about them.

Since when has it become fashionable to allow children to do whatever they want without any consequences? Since when has it become more important to develop a child's "self-esteem" than it has to develop their sense of duty to society?

I appreciate that the oft-spoken "children are meant to be seen and not heard" rule seemed unreasonable to my 5-year old brain when I was growing up in the 50's - but that's the point, isn't it? Since our frontal lobe is not fully developed until we're in our early 20's, a 5-year old (or 12-year old for that matter) won't understand - and they don't need to. They need to shut-up, sit quietly (at least while adults are talking) and stay out of trouble.

And if they get into trouble (i.e., violate any rule as established by those who are old enough to have fully developed frontal lobes) there ought to be consequences for their violations. I'm not suggesting have the little buggers be drawn and quartered, but a swift swat to the meaty part of their behind with the soft portion of the palm of the hand might be what it takes to get them to behave.

I recall the utter terror in the thought that my father would embarrass me with such a swift swat while in public. It was not fear of the swat - my father, though a large man, would not have struck at us kids in an effort to inflict either pain or injury - the fear of being embarrassed in front of family/friends/strangers - the fear of being seen as something other than a "good kid" was enough to induce panic.

Today's children know that there are no consequences. They know that any threat their Gen-X parents make will be an empty one. They know that the worst thing that will happen to them is being sent to their room which houses their computer, TV, iPod, refrigerator and microwave. Out of fear that we will damage their precious "self-esteem" we've created a generation of children who will never grow up into mature, thinking adults who can care about anyone other than themselves and their own immediate pleasure.

By treating children like little adults and saying asinine things such as, "You know, Bobby, when you throw things at Mr. Johnson you hurt his feelings." You aren't helping them grow. They don't have the mental capacity to understand and they certainly don't care what someone else feels. Of course, doing their homework for them isn't helping them learn to think anyway.

You want to help your children grow? Let them fail. Let them crash and burn on occasion so that they can learn to understand that failure stinks. Perhaps they'll try a little harder the next time. Treat them like children - tell them what to do and expect them to do so. Stop hovering over them like a fleet of anxiety-ridden helicopters - leave them to play; expect them to behave and give them fair but firm consequences when they don't. And maybe you'll help them learn that those "things" that move around them making noise are actually other people who matter as much - if not more - than they do.

If you can't do that - don't have children. The rest of us are tired of having to try to raise your children for you.