Perhaps it's because I lived and ministered in an inner-city environment that basketball bothers me so much. Every kid was going to be the next LeBron James and they went nowhere that they weren't dribbling a basketball. Thwank... thwank... thwank... the sound of dozens of basketballs echoed off every wall and windowsill until everything vibrated with the jarring staccato thwank of the basketball against concrete; against asphalt; against dirt; against anything the ball could be bounced against.
And where there are basketballs there are hoops. Every parking lot in the inner city has at least one basketball hoop. Sometimes there are as many as 6 of them in a parking lot that would hold no more than 20 cars. The church parking lot had 4 of them - two immediately outside my bedroom window in the parish house. Thwank... thwank... thwank...
So here I am, 1000 miles away both literally and economically - surrounded now by expensive McMansions and townhomes instead of the projects - with 2 basketball hoops immediately outside my office window. But here's the catch... no one's playing basketball here. Wealthy suburban kids don't look to bball as their way out of poverty. These two poles stand as silent sentinals over several acres of parking lot. So when I suggested to the church council the other night that we remove them because they are eyesores it was with great surprise the vehemence of their outrage.
"No!" one businessman shouted, veritably pounding his shoe on the table in Khrushchevesque fashion, "the kids play here all the time."
"Oh, that's right," added one of our blue-haired charter members. "The kids enjoy it and so many of their fathers come with them and teach them the game."
Now, I know I'm new here... I've only been sitting in this chair looking out this window at those two basketball hoops for 10 years... but just when exactly are these good people looking at the hoops and seeing them used? Let's be honest: I'm here morning, noon, and night. I'm here Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. No one is playing basketball here. Period.
But I can't argue with the council. They were here before I got here... they'll be here after everyone else has forgotten my name - and those two damn hoops will be here forever also...
Maybe I need to start dribbling a ball around here. Perhaps if they hear enough thwank from me they'll realize they aren't hearing it anywhere else.
ACC
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
To The Class of 19**
Today a few of the members of my high school graduating class (the class of 19**) are meeting to share stories, drink, play golf and "reminisce" about the good times they had back at old ******* High. It's one of those huge milestone reunion years and I must admit having had a small tug at my heart about going. But that tug was a short-lived one.
I began thinking about who I am today as compared to who I was ** years ago and I realized that I've always been the same person. My values and standards are not today those of the world, nor were they then. I wasn't Mr. Popularity in High School and frankly the only people who attend reunions are those who were.
There are a few people who I would like to see at least once again in this life: That red-headed girl who I fell head-over-heels for my senior year; my friend **** who always seemed to know what I was thinking and whose mother made incredible stuffed peppers. But I know the whereabouts of most the people I cared about in high school and how their lives are - that's what's important.
So, I'm letting others worry about their hair plugs and boob jobs, dentures and liposuction. Today others are practicing the stories they're going to tell and hoping that their dirty little secrets aren't known to anyone else who's attending the reunion. And I'm going to say a funeral this morning, witness a wedding this afternoon and go to dinner with a friend tonight and do something that most of those attending the High School Reunion won't: Feel comfortable in my own skin.
God Bless them all.
ACC
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
"I'm Not Happy"
I had an appointment today with a middle-aged woman from my congregation. Her husband left her about 7 years ago with two kids to raise. She's doing an exceptional job, but the stress of raising two teens on her own is taking its toll. It's been a while since I've seen her and she's looking much older than her years.
I'm at a loss to explain the phenomenon of men leaving their children to be raised by other men while they go on to raise someone else's children. Like this woman who was in my office - her husband deserted her so that he could marry a divorced woman with two kids of her own. Can you say Stupid... I knew you could.
Okay, this is for the men in my audience only (you women can stop reading now if you'd like): What the hell is wrong with you guys? Grow up and stop thinking with your reproductive organ. You think someone else's ex-wife is better than the one you're making? Think again. You're not only making a mess of your family - you're going to add to your burdens by trying to raise someone else's children. Now your own children will resent you and your step-children will resent you. Yeah, good choice, dipsh**.
"I'm not happy." is the universal rant of middle-aged men. "Wah! I've given of myself and now I have nothing left to give." "My needs aren't being fulfilled."
Get over yourselves! You're not men... you're overgrown children.
Grow up. Your children need you. You made these kids - take the responsibility to raise them. No one said life would make you happy. Your job as husband and father is to make other people happy. And in giving happiness to others you'll find happiness for yourself. Or did your dad forget to tell you that?
ACC
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Assorted and A Sundry Rants
Random Rants:
Genetically engineered plants are now being reported to having cross-pollinated with weeds creating what some experts are calling "unforeseen challenges" to the ecosystem. "Unforeseen" Really? Monsanto and their ilk are out there changing the genetic coding of plants (in some cases adding animal genes to the genetic code of plants) and no one, no one, thought about the bees and winds carrying pollen from their "Frankinplants" into the surrounding fields?! Holy Shit... what else are these rocket scientists not thinking about?
Alex Rodriquez hits his 600th Major League home run and this is news? It's the genetically engineered plant thing in human form. He's "modified" himself through the use of illegal substances and we applaud his effort? Smiles and nods to all those who think he "earned" these runs.
Idiots in Elected Office are turning off street lamps (see Colorado Springs), tearing up roads they cannot afford to maintain and replacing them with gravel, firing teachers / closing schools / drastically shortening the school year (see Hawaii) and we're arguing that we cannot allow the tax rate on the wealthiest Americans rise to the levels found in the halcyon days of the Clinton era? Really? We're not talking about making the obscenely rich pay the 70% they did before Saint Reagan took office... we're not talking the 90% the richest 2% paid following the 2nd World War... we're only talking taking the rate up to 38% from it's current level of 35%. Keeping the Bush-era welfare to the rich is costing the nation $70 Billion (yes, that's a "B") in revenue per year... actually $1.5 Trillion (yes, that's a "T") in the first 2 years of the cuts. So F*** the street lights, the roads, the crumbling infrastructure, the school... make certain the wealthy get their welfare funded by Chinese capitalists and F*** everyone else.
ACC
Genetically engineered plants are now being reported to having cross-pollinated with weeds creating what some experts are calling "unforeseen challenges" to the ecosystem. "Unforeseen" Really? Monsanto and their ilk are out there changing the genetic coding of plants (in some cases adding animal genes to the genetic code of plants) and no one, no one, thought about the bees and winds carrying pollen from their "Frankinplants" into the surrounding fields?! Holy Shit... what else are these rocket scientists not thinking about?
Alex Rodriquez hits his 600th Major League home run and this is news? It's the genetically engineered plant thing in human form. He's "modified" himself through the use of illegal substances and we applaud his effort? Smiles and nods to all those who think he "earned" these runs.
Idiots in Elected Office are turning off street lamps (see Colorado Springs), tearing up roads they cannot afford to maintain and replacing them with gravel, firing teachers / closing schools / drastically shortening the school year (see Hawaii) and we're arguing that we cannot allow the tax rate on the wealthiest Americans rise to the levels found in the halcyon days of the Clinton era? Really? We're not talking about making the obscenely rich pay the 70% they did before Saint Reagan took office... we're not talking the 90% the richest 2% paid following the 2nd World War... we're only talking taking the rate up to 38% from it's current level of 35%. Keeping the Bush-era welfare to the rich is costing the nation $70 Billion (yes, that's a "B") in revenue per year... actually $1.5 Trillion (yes, that's a "T") in the first 2 years of the cuts. So F*** the street lights, the roads, the crumbling infrastructure, the school... make certain the wealthy get their welfare funded by Chinese capitalists and F*** everyone else.
ACC
Brain Rot
I was lunching today with a lady who was gushing at how her 3-year old grandson was using her iPad to watch youtube videos. "Oh, he was so cute," she bubbled, "he would watch a few seconds of one and then move onto another."
I smiled and nodded. (Years ago someone I looked up to told me the best way to handle someone who's insane is to just smile and nod.)
Are you kidding me?! We're proud of our grandson because he can touch the icon for a video? Three years old and he's still shitting his pants, but we're proud of him because he can navigate a web page that's geared to the tykes IQ. Tell me that you've got your child potty trained at 2 and I'm impressed. Tell me that he can sit in his own filth and make the images on your iPad change... you get the smile and nod treatment.
I'm reading an interesting book entitled, "The Shallows: What the Internet is doing to our brains" by Nicholas Carr. It's a well-researched treatise into how our brains are getting softer and softer the more we are exposed to the constantly changing stream of "information" found on the internet. Our attention spans have gotten to the point that English Literature majors in college admit that they cannot read a book. Carr says that these students no longer read from left to right, up to down... they are just scanning a page looking for key words. And get this... these morons believe that what they're doing is gleaning more information than reading would have given them. Smile and nod...
In a few short generations (perhaps quicker... but hey, I'm an optimist) our children will not be able to repair the machines previous generations created. Their little boxes will no longer blink. Water will no longer flow from faucets. The hum of machinery will grind to an exhausted halt and silence will pervade. Our scions will sit quietly in their own filth, staring into the darkness and slowly starve to death. Perhaps a few plucky kids from Papua New Guinea will still be hunting and living off the land... they can carry the gene pool forward.
I'm not impressed that anyone's grandson can push buttons. Show me a 3-year old who can build a computer and I'll be very impressed. Otherwise it's just all smile and nod.
ACC
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tired of Raising Your Children For You.
What is it with children now days? I'm not a parent but I don't believe that disqualifies me from speaking about them.
Since when has it become fashionable to allow children to do whatever they want without any consequences? Since when has it become more important to develop a child's "self-esteem" than it has to develop their sense of duty to society?
I appreciate that the oft-spoken "children are meant to be seen and not heard" rule seemed unreasonable to my 5-year old brain when I was growing up in the 50's - but that's the point, isn't it? Since our frontal lobe is not fully developed until we're in our early 20's, a 5-year old (or 12-year old for that matter) won't understand - and they don't need to. They need to shut-up, sit quietly (at least while adults are talking) and stay out of trouble.
And if they get into trouble (i.e., violate any rule as established by those who are old enough to have fully developed frontal lobes) there ought to be consequences for their violations. I'm not suggesting have the little buggers be drawn and quartered, but a swift swat to the meaty part of their behind with the soft portion of the palm of the hand might be what it takes to get them to behave.
I recall the utter terror in the thought that my father would embarrass me with such a swift swat while in public. It was not fear of the swat - my father, though a large man, would not have struck at us kids in an effort to inflict either pain or injury - the fear of being embarrassed in front of family/friends/strangers - the fear of being seen as something other than a "good kid" was enough to induce panic.
Today's children know that there are no consequences. They know that any threat their Gen-X parents make will be an empty one. They know that the worst thing that will happen to them is being sent to their room which houses their computer, TV, iPod, refrigerator and microwave. Out of fear that we will damage their precious "self-esteem" we've created a generation of children who will never grow up into mature, thinking adults who can care about anyone other than themselves and their own immediate pleasure.
By treating children like little adults and saying asinine things such as, "You know, Bobby, when you throw things at Mr. Johnson you hurt his feelings." You aren't helping them grow. They don't have the mental capacity to understand and they certainly don't care what someone else feels. Of course, doing their homework for them isn't helping them learn to think anyway.
You want to help your children grow? Let them fail. Let them crash and burn on occasion so that they can learn to understand that failure stinks. Perhaps they'll try a little harder the next time. Treat them like children - tell them what to do and expect them to do so. Stop hovering over them like a fleet of anxiety-ridden helicopters - leave them to play; expect them to behave and give them fair but firm consequences when they don't. And maybe you'll help them learn that those "things" that move around them making noise are actually other people who matter as much - if not more - than they do.
If you can't do that - don't have children. The rest of us are tired of having to try to raise your children for you.
Since when has it become fashionable to allow children to do whatever they want without any consequences? Since when has it become more important to develop a child's "self-esteem" than it has to develop their sense of duty to society?
I appreciate that the oft-spoken "children are meant to be seen and not heard" rule seemed unreasonable to my 5-year old brain when I was growing up in the 50's - but that's the point, isn't it? Since our frontal lobe is not fully developed until we're in our early 20's, a 5-year old (or 12-year old for that matter) won't understand - and they don't need to. They need to shut-up, sit quietly (at least while adults are talking) and stay out of trouble.
And if they get into trouble (i.e., violate any rule as established by those who are old enough to have fully developed frontal lobes) there ought to be consequences for their violations. I'm not suggesting have the little buggers be drawn and quartered, but a swift swat to the meaty part of their behind with the soft portion of the palm of the hand might be what it takes to get them to behave.
I recall the utter terror in the thought that my father would embarrass me with such a swift swat while in public. It was not fear of the swat - my father, though a large man, would not have struck at us kids in an effort to inflict either pain or injury - the fear of being embarrassed in front of family/friends/strangers - the fear of being seen as something other than a "good kid" was enough to induce panic.
Today's children know that there are no consequences. They know that any threat their Gen-X parents make will be an empty one. They know that the worst thing that will happen to them is being sent to their room which houses their computer, TV, iPod, refrigerator and microwave. Out of fear that we will damage their precious "self-esteem" we've created a generation of children who will never grow up into mature, thinking adults who can care about anyone other than themselves and their own immediate pleasure.
By treating children like little adults and saying asinine things such as, "You know, Bobby, when you throw things at Mr. Johnson you hurt his feelings." You aren't helping them grow. They don't have the mental capacity to understand and they certainly don't care what someone else feels. Of course, doing their homework for them isn't helping them learn to think anyway.
You want to help your children grow? Let them fail. Let them crash and burn on occasion so that they can learn to understand that failure stinks. Perhaps they'll try a little harder the next time. Treat them like children - tell them what to do and expect them to do so. Stop hovering over them like a fleet of anxiety-ridden helicopters - leave them to play; expect them to behave and give them fair but firm consequences when they don't. And maybe you'll help them learn that those "things" that move around them making noise are actually other people who matter as much - if not more - than they do.
If you can't do that - don't have children. The rest of us are tired of having to try to raise your children for you.
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