Dressed to the 3s

As difficult as this is to admit; today's wedding was actually pretty decent. Most of those who attended acted like they had been in a church before and there was not one young woman who was dressed like a street-walker.

Maybe it's just the part of the country where I live - perhaps it's happening everywhere... but, young, single women attending weddings have gotten into the habit of wearing almost nothing. I swear my grandmother wore silk scarfs with more fabric than many of these girls have on. I'm no prude - I'm a married guy and have seen everything there is to see... but some of these girls seem to be more than willing to show theirs to anyone willing to look. (Marketing 101: place the product in attractive packaging).

Back when I was a pup my mother would look at a well-dressed lady and say of her, "she's dressed to the 9s." If that was true then, than many of today's "ladies" have only managed to dress to the 3s.

ACC

Those Damn Red Curbs

Who would have thought that the bright RED curb in front of the Church wasn't meant for you to park your Porsche Cayenne? And when you found the pastor leaning against your outward display of consumption (after you had returned from wherever you'd wandered off to) you might have considered making eye contact with him and acknowledging that you were in the wrong... not making an excuse, "I'm only here to pick up my parents."

Really? You're only here to pick up your parents? Why the H weren't you inside with them? Or do you become uncomfortable when you remember that the Lord said it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to get into heaven? Or that Jesus told the rich young man to sell all he had if he planned on becoming a disciple.

Having money does not give you the right to inconvenience other people. Having money does not make you better than others. Having money, according to the Lord, puts you in the position of having to care for others who are less fortunate than you... If you bothered to put your ass in a pew instead of a Porsche, you may have learned that.

Asshole.

Atheists

What is it with atheists (deliberately not capitalized). I don't care if you don't care. I don't lose sleep because you don't look at the Universe and see God working. It's your choice - period. You can stand before God at your judgment and have him say, "I don't believe in you, either."

In my years of ministry I've welcomed dozens of people into the faith. These are people who have chosen to join the Church and be baptized. In those years I've never knocked on doors, sent e-mail messages to strangers, or called people on the phone to endeavor to enlighten their puny little minds. But this is exactly what atheists do.

Today's atheists feel not just compelled, but obligated, to attempt to show Christians (Jews and Muslims fall here, too) the error of our ways through the employment of loud voices and name calling. The best form of the old atheism displayed great depth of thought. You could talk to an atheist. The worst form of the old atheism (those like Madeline Murray O'Hare) was marred by intolerance and a lack of table manners.

What I'm calling “today's atheism” is really nothing more than the triumph of the jerks. Unsubtle, unlearned (but pretentious), unreflective (but persistent). The shrill tones of today's atheism have been amplified because we live in a society that believes:

Loud wins.
Stupid and loud is even better.
Outrageously stupid and loud is best.

Again today I'm called a charlatan and a thief (anonymously as always) for leading people astray from the athiestic viewpoint. "Charlatan" would indicate that I don't believe what I preach. Let me firmly state that I truly do believe and teach what I believe. As for the title "thief" let's just leave it at this... I must be the worst thief in the history of mankind: My family lives off of the table scraps of society so that we can witness to God - who promised not earthly rewards but rather treasure in heaven.

In my best curmudgeon manner, let me answer the kind soul who felt it necessary to call me names via anonymous e-mail (whose link didn't work to respond personally), I will proudly stand before the Lord our God and point to those I've brought with me. You can stand before Satan and proudly boast of those you won for him.

ACC

Be Safe!

"Be Safe!" I don't know how many members of my congregation told me that as the left services yesterday morning.

"Be safe." What kind of holiday greeting is that? We're enjoined to have a "happy" New Year and a "merry" Christmas. Many wish each other a "blessed" Easter and a "good" Thanksgiving. But when it comes to Independence Day we recommend each other "be safe."

Of course, Independence Day is now called the "4th of July" and I'm certain that the majority of my fellow citizens no longer connect the events that led up to the American Colonies severing ties with Great Britain and the holiday which is celebrated.

Today the "4th of July" is associated with overindulgence in food and alcohol (mostly alcohol) and the desire to blow the living crap out of something. Great combination that. I don't profess to any understanding as to why blowing shit up is so damn attractive to people whose IQ may well be below the sum of the combination of their shoe size and age - but damn if it isn't.

Apparently there's enough common knowledge that the combination of alcohol and things that blow up isn't good that the Federal Government has the ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) But that knowledge doesn't seem to extend to the multitude of "rocket" scientists who sent themselves and/or their children to Emergency Rooms around the country last night while having attempted to entertain themselves with inexpensive alcohol and illegal rocketry.

I'm fairly certain that most of the explosive devices I heard my neighbors exploding last night could not legally have be purchased in the state in which I live. A couple of the window-rattlers probably aren't legal in the USA at all - so these people of below average intelligence (who probably could have been as entertained by an evening of 'wrastlin' on TV or an old episode of the Jerry Springer Show) made interstate trips (perhaps international expeditions) to procure shit that explodes.

I'm certain that many of these fine citizens would call upon their "right" to do what they'd like without any knowledge of where those rights came from and the duties those rights call us to. The events that led to the Declaration of Independence stirred the souls of men of character to act - knowing that by pledging their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor they were sacrificing their lives and fortunes for the benefit of others.

Those, who 234 years later think that the signers of the Declaration gave them the right to be stupid, would benefit from a short history lesson - if they weren't too ignorant to comprehend that from those to whom much has been given much is expected. Few in this world have been given the gift that the signers of the Declaration have given us.

Finally, God shed his Grace not just on the United States, but on all the nations of the world. We are not superior - if anything the actions of my neighbors last night touts our inferiority.

Be safe.
AFF

What is it with Israel?

I know that those who question the actions of the government of Israel are labeled as "Anti-Semites," browbeaten and blacklisted. Please know that I am "Pro-Semite" which is why I am Anti-Israel. The Israeli government has worked as hard at making the Jewish people look bad as has any other person, entity or government.

Back in 1967 the Israeli military made a preemptive strike against the United States when during the "6-Day War" the Israeli's targeted the USS Liberty, a US Navy surveillance ship sailing in international waters in the Mediterranean. Why would our "good friends" do such a thing? Simple - flying unmarked planes and attacking with unmarked ships - they hoped to draw the US into its war against Egypt by sinking the Liberty and blaming Egypt for the attack. They almost succeeded in their effort to sink the nearly unarmed Liberty in a two hour attack. Of the ship's compliment of 294, thirty-four were killed and 171 were wounded. At the time the Israeli's demanded the right to do their own investigation - no U.N. help necessary - they "learned" that their military had "mistaken" the Liberty, flying the Stars and Stripes, for an Egyptian cargo ship. "Our bad..."

Once again the Israeli military has attacked unarmed ships in international waters. This time it killed innocent men and women who were attempting to help the people of Gaza. The convoy that was attacked was on a humanitarian mission to supply food, water and medicine to the people of Gaza. One of the ships carried a former US Ambassador to the Middle East to give credence to the mission. Again Israel has demanded the right to do their own investigation into the massacre - but has already publicly declared the ships held weapons - a claim that is unsubstantiated.

What is it with Israel? Better yet, what is it with the rest of us that we don't speak out for those whom Matthew referred to as the least of Jesus' brothers and sisters?

Israel has laid siege against the people in Gaza. They are blockaded from land, air and sea. Israel's perpetual argument is that people, trucks and boats are attempting to deliver items that could be used by terrorists... like medicine and food. Concrete is not being delivered to rebuild the apartments that the Israeli's destroyed in their unlawful attack against Gaza in December of 2008 "because it could be used for terrorist activities." Oh yeah, I've lost count of the number of times terrorists have thrown concrete blocks at people.

When the Germans blockaded the Jews into the Ghettos in Warsaw it was wrong. What makes it right for Israeli to do so against the Palestinians?

When the Germans killed 100 for every person the Jews killed in self-defense it was wrong. What makes it right for the Israel to do so against the Palestinians?

When Germany rolled into Poland because they needed a little room to grow it was wrong. What makes it right for Israel to do the same thing?

It's time the world stands up against Israel and treat it like the petulant child that it is. First step: the United States should cease funding it and treat it as a terrorist country if it's going to continue to act as one. Second step: those in charge of the Israeli military machine should be charged with crimes against humanity.

I know that many "Christian" ministers are promoting the restoration of Israel to it's "historic" boarders to force the Second Coming. I will remind them that Judas the Iscariot also attempted to force God's hand... didn't work the way Judas had planned either. The Reign of Love cannot be brought about by violence.

Finally, if you laid siege on my family - preventing us from going to school, work or hospital while slowly starving us to death - I'd probably start throwing stones at you, too. Israel blames the Palestinians for "unwarranted" attacks... describe "unwarranted."

Not Another Night at Home

For a change I did not spend the night at home, but was actually invited over to someone's house for a drink and a dip in the pool. For those of you who aren't among the ordained, you can immediately go ho-hum yourselves. For me this is huge!

As I've previously posted, the clergy is as welcome as a cockroach at a formal banquet; we are treated like the idiot cousin at a family reunion - occasionally invited out of courtesy but not spoken to - so having a couple invite me over to their house is like me attending the senior prom with the homecoming queen -- absolutely a memorable evening.

I was moderately lubricated with Jose Cuervo pre-made margarita and several pounds of pita chips and hummus before I floating in the pool for an hour or so.

A great evening provided by a couple who didn't expect me to be anything other than myself. What a pleasant change from perpetually feeling stuck in the Beatles "Eleanor Rigby,"... "Father McKenzie, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there..."

To remain "anonymous" I can only say, "Thank you, X and X, for allowing me the opportunity to be nothing but me.

With Love,
ACC

Hello Goodbye

I have wanted to rid myself once and forever of the land-line telephone at the house. Let's be honest... no one ever calls me there - they either call the office or the cell phone. Looking at the monthly expense of the land-line and the DSL that I had "bundled" with it, it no longer made sense, especially when you consider that I had a broadband USB stick from Verizon for my travels and out-of-office meetings.

So I find that Verizon has an incredibly tiny broadband wifi hotspot that will handle up to 5 wifi'd netbooks, notebooks, cameras, etc and I can get it after rebates for $3 and the monthly access fee I'm already giving for the broadband.

I'm using it now - and I feel like using my best MLK Jr. voice as I say, "Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last" (or at least I will be once I contact the phone company and get them off my back).

Only drawback to the "MiFi 2200" is the instruction page (3.5 x 5") is less than instructive. If you follow the instructions to the letter you will a) load the proper software onto your computer, and b) not be able to connect to the web (even though you have wirelessly connected to the hotspot). After hours of dinking around (no the ACC does not call customer support) I found a blog where some kind guru of electronics explained his similar frustration with the device. Frankly, it made me feel pretty good to know that some tech-savvy acne-scarred post-pubescent couldn't get the thing to work either... anyway, the scoop is don't follow the instructions. Sure charge the battery, use the provided USB cable to connect it with the device where you want the software installed but then DON'T UNPLUG THE USB! Leave the damn thing plugged into the PC, go to the top of the "VZ Access Manager" and click the "tools" tab at the top of the screen followed by "Get Access" from the drop down menu. Badabing, badaboom... it was done.

Apparently no one at the manufacturer bothered to let a non-engineer try to install the software/hardware using the provided instructions. If they had they would have scratched their skinny little Asian butts and said, "Damn... that didn't work."

Oh well. Hello Verizon hotspot, goodbye phone company
ACC