Weddings

Things I've really said in relation to weddings:

"No, your dog cannot serve as the best man."

"No, we will not move the altar to make a better balance in your photos."

"No, we will not remove the decorations in the church because they clash with your 'colors'."

"No, you cannot 'rent' our Church for your wedding."

"No, we're not adding "up-lights" around the perimeter to give the chapel a warmer look."

"I'm not trying to ruin the "most important day in your life"... but remember when I told you that you'd need a marriage license? I was serious."

"The groom is where? drinking what?"

"Yes, these are the vestments that I'll wear."

"No, you'll need to tell the bride yourself." (To a groom who called 10 minutes prior to the wedding to ask me to tell his future wife that he wasn't going to marry her)

"Gentlemen, please remove your cowboy hats in the Church." "I don't care if you do have 'hat hair.'"

"No, you cannot remove that row of pews... if it's too tight up front maybe you shouldn't have asked everyone you ever met to stand up for you at your wedding."

God, I love wedding season!
ACC